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MY EPIPHANY

My Epiphany
In my seventeen years, I've heard the saying "the truth hurts" more times than I can
count. I agree with this statement, for I believe my greatest moment of truth caused me
the greatest pain. This is when I realized that my first love was my worst love.
Unfortunately, it took two years for me to figure this out. Two years of good times, bad
times, and finally, the event that led to my realization.
I must admit the good times were worth remembering. I met Shawn at a dance in high
school. Soon, we were a couple and no one ever saw us apart. He was really great, he'd
play with my little brothers and spend most of his free time with me. We went out for a
year and then broke up for such a stupid reason that I can't even remember what it was
now.
Sadly, it seems so much easier to remember the bad times. The only thing bad that he did
while we were going out was kiss another girl. It was after we broke up that he really
hurt me. He would say he wanted to work things out and that he would come over, and then
never show up. He started dating other girls and I stared having nightly dates with
alcohol. It got worse when I found out he slept with my best friend. I couldn't stop
drinking but I hid it so well not my friends or family knew how serious my problem was. I
continued this for about a year but completely stopped after I totaled my car and my
friend and I ended up being rushed to the hospital with head injuries. 
About a week after my wreck, it hit me what kind of a person Shawn was. He called and
said he was at a party and that he made a big mistake in letting me go and he still loved
me and wanted to see me. I agreed to meet him at a park thirty minutes later close to
where the party was so we could talk. After we got off the phone, I raced around trying
to make myself beautiful and then had my friend drive me to the park. I waited for thirty
minutes but he never showed up, and I went home and cried myself to sleep. I found out
the next day from a mutual friend that Shawn had done that so he could drive by and see
if I would show up. That really made me think, and all of the sudden, the pain was gone
and everything seemed so clear.
It seems strange that ten minutes can change something that you've felt for two years,
but that's just the way it is. But the good and bad times that led up to my epiphany made
me learn something. I learned what I do and don't want in a boyfriend, and I also learned
that I should never settle for someone who doesn't love me as much as I love them.
Sometimes you can fall in love with someone not for who they are, but for who you want
them to be. Maybe the saying should be "the truth helps". 
Mandy Steffen mandy_lhs@hotmail.com

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