FREE ESSAY ON FRIENDSHIP

FRIENDSHIP

Small-minded administrators and authority figures like to speak in cliches. All my life I
heard the same trite line: " You can tell a lot about a person by the friends they keep."
The black sheep of the honors program, I hung out with the so-called " losers." During my
freshman year, not a day went by when a teacher or family member did not deride my
closest friends and warn me that by hanging out with " bad seeds" I would fall into a
downward spiral, never graduate college, and have a miserable life. They thought that
they had me figured out. 
One day, while my ninth grade math teacher, Mr. Pedersen, was reviewing some math
concepts with me, my friend Mariam ran by the classroom, stuck her head in the doorway,
called out: " Hi Yassee, " and then ran away. Mr. Pedersen looked at me coldly and said
with a scowl: " How can you call yourself an Honors student? A real honors student
doesn't associate with people like that!" I wanted to ask him how he could call himself a
teacher; after all, a real teacher is supposed to want to help everyone. Instead, I sat
silent, stunned by his ignorance and cruelty. He wanted me to drop my childhood friends
simply because they didn't place the same importance on schoolwork that I do. If he had
thought before speaking, he would have realized that people like him, rather than people
like my friends, are better able to turn good students into poor ones by discouraging
them with ridiculous comments. 
I would never slight Mariam. One of my closest friends in freshman year, she was also a
below average, non-college bound student. Many of the adults in my life, especially my
parents and teachers, would look at those closest to me: Mariam, Alisa, Zena, Lianne, and
Marvin, and ask how I could call these " low-life losers" my friends. But such questions
show a lack of understanding of the nature of friendship. Friendship is unconditional and
uncritical, based only on mutual respect and the ability to enjoy each other' s company.
These authority figures never saw the way one of us could do something outrageous, and
the rest of us would joke about it for days. We could have fun doing absolutely nothing
at all - because the company we provided each other with was enough. Rather than
discussing operas, Lewinsky, or the weather, we enjoyed just hanging around each other
without any one of us trying to outsmart the others. 
Still, I realize that these adults had a point to be concerned about the direction my
friends were heading; I also was concerned for them, but I wasn't about to leave them.
Many times I would advise my friends that some activity may be dangerous or to think
things through before doing something, but I would never claim to hold the moral high
ground and to condescend to them. When Marvin would begin rolling joints, when Alisa
would tell me she skipped school because of a hangover, or when Mariam would tell me that
her new boyfriend was in a street gang, I expressed my discomfort with their actions.
However, I never blackmailed them with the threat of taking my friendship away. Contrary
to the commercials on television, you can have friends who use drugs. In fact, probably
everyone does without realizing it. 
In my junior year, AP U.S. History class, the teacher, Mr. Jacobsen, addressed the class
saying: " I bet none of you have ever seen a drug deal!" With a look of absolute
certainty and an odd smile on his face he scanned the room. " I've seen a drug deal
before, " I answered. Everyone in the room turned to look at me, either gasping or in
disbelief. I realized that maybe my experiences thus far were a typical of most of my
honor student friends. Despite our varying experiences, I still maintained many friends
who were excellent students. Yogita, Nitin, Hans, Vishal, Saurabh, Anuj, Nick, and I have
had almost every class together since eighth grade. Nitin and I both love to shop and
eat. What is different about shopping with Nitin, however, is that we argue about the
necessity of a high sales tax or discuss the effectiveness of the acting welfare system.
Yogita and I always go to the library together and " pull all nighters" at her house.
While I do enjoy accomplishing my academic goals and working with this highly motivated
group of friends, I also enjoy " the losers, " who to me seem much more sincere and
loyal. 
In retrospect, I wouldn't change my ninth grade experience, because I learned many of
life' s important lessons from my friends and the ignorance of teachers and
administrators. It' s sad to say, but in many of my friends' dangerous actions, I saw
what I never wanted to become. In the future, I' d like to continue helping adolescents,
in addition to my studies. I have been fortunate thus far in being able to reach out to
them through programs like C.H.A.N.G.E. For my efforts, I have been recognized and was
honored to receive the 1998 Operation Pride Youth Award for my dedication to helping
other kids live a substance free lifestyle. My familiarity with teenagers from all walks
of life greatly enhances my ability to both identify with and influence others. I will be
a successful adult in the future because I am willing to work with everyone and to give
everyone a chance. Hopefully, I will also have the chance to change other kids' lives for
the better.