FREE ESSAY ON ABSTINENCE

ABSTINENCE

With all the emphasis on the importance of using condoms and birth control to ensure safer
sex, I feel an intelligent choice is being overlooked. What is this choice? Well, it is
sometimes looked at as old-fashion or not as a plausible decision. I feel, though, that
it is very possible, and I am living proof that it is. This decision that I have made is
pre-marital sexual abstinence.
First of all, I want to say that I feel that people should be educated about condoms and
other forms of birth control. Being responsible enough to take those measures when
dealing with sex is important in and outside marriage. Also, I would like to say that I
am not looking down on anyone who chooses to engage in pre-marital sex. Many of my
closest friends have chosen to have sex, and I have and always will be there for them no
matter what decisions they make. I can talk to them about sex and give advice knowing
that their beliefs are not mine.
So, why have I made this decision? Well, the root of my decision is from my religion. I
am a born-again Christian, and God tells us in the bible that it is wrong to have sex
outside of marriage. When I was in junior high, I made a lot of promises that I swore I
wouldn't break. They included such things as not drinking and not having sex until I was
married. Well, I managed to break most of those promises in high school, but I always
have kept my promise of abstinence. It wasn't a decision that I made to be a "good" girl,
it was a way of life. Every issue I saw that dealt with sex in high school made my
decision even stronger. I was scared that me wanting to be a virgin would receive a lot
of sarcasm and jokes, but I instead received the exact opposite. Boys that found out
would think it was wonderful and say such things as "You're the type of girl I want to
marry!" One of my best friends wrote in my yearbook "I will always admire you for your
ability to say no in the most intense, heat of the moment. Always stick to what you
believe. You'll know when its right!" I was also afraid that I would never have a
boyfriend who would accept me for my beliefs. On the contrary, I had a very serious
relationship for a year without having sex. My ex-boyfriend has even made the choice of
abstinence for himself. Some of my closest friends have also made the same decision,
which helps because we can be there to support each other.
Besides me being a Christian, I feel that there are many good reasons to choose to be
abstinent. Probably the most apparent reasons are preventing an unwanted pregnancy or
contracting an infectious disease. If I became pregnant, I feel that many of my future
plans could be very hard to accomplish. The HIV virus is also a scary issue that is very
real. Contracting a disease or becoming pregnant could seriously alter or change my life.

In addition, I feel that society's view of marriage is way out of proportion. Marriage is
supposed to be a wonderful bond that two people vow to never break. I can't think of a
better way to make a marriage sacred than to keep sex inside that marriage. Sex is the
most precious act of intimacy that shows your love for the person with which you are
going to spend the rest of your life. Even if a couple is engaged to be married, I feel
they should not have sex. Anything could happen while the couple is engaged, and they
might never get married. Thus, when a couple is engaged, trust and respect is built when
a man and a woman choose not to have sex, and they both survive the struggles of
self-control. I also see my virginity as a gift to my husband. I love him so much now
without even knowing who he is that I will save this gift for him.
Sex is also too emotional of an experience to have with another person besides your
spouse. I know that my most serious relationship was hard enough to get over after
breaking up without ever having sex. I can't imagine what the break-up would have been
like if we had had sex. At points in that relationship, I felt like he was the one with
which I wanted to spend the rest of my life, and I even contemplated having sex. Now that
I know that things didn't work out, I am so glad that I didn't end up losing my
virginity. Many people feel that sex is needed to have an intimate and loving
relationship, but there are many alternatives to show a boyfriend/girlfriend that you
love them.
When I started college, I was afraid that my friends and I were the only ones who saw the
benefits of abstinence. I lucked out, though, and I have met many people who have made
the same decision. I have even met many guys that are not afraid to tell people that they
are proud of their virginity. Sometimes people assume that only girls can have the
self-control to stay abstinent, but that is so untrue. Men might act like they need sex
more than women, but the fact is that we all have the same sexual desires. Having sex
should be a very important decision for anyone whether they choose to save it for
marriage or not.
This decision of abstinence is not any easy one. Sometimes I even wonder if it is worth
it, but only for a second. Then I think about how special my marriage will be. I might
not find a virgin for a husband, but at least he will know what I saved for him. I'm glad
I know exactly why God wishes us to save sex for marriage.